the word “hoe” gets thrown around way too loosely I did not religiously suck dick to share that title with you virgins running a porn blog
"I don’t know what to tell you other than the fact that a giraffe’s heart weighs 22 pounds and that somebody once told me when flies fall in love, their entire brain is rewired to only know loving each other. When one of them dies, their memory becomes blank. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about waking up next to you during a windstorm at 5 am."
- (via discomforted)
*casually asks crush when their birthday is so I can figure out their birth chart and see how to attract them and whether or not we’re compatible*
Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting
you don’t drink it for the taste. u drink shit like apple juice for the taste. you drink alcohol to get rid of the bad taste that every awful person in your life has left
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